Did This REALLY Happen To Me?

Oftentimes, childhood abuse victims, rape victims, assault victims, and harassment victims are not even aware that abuse has happened to them. As a child, when someone touches you inappropriately, most have been groomed for an extended period to almost expect that this is coming. When it happens, a victim has an extremely hard time making sense of what took place. 

The effects of the incident(s) begin to unfold in the things we do, because now, we understand what sex is, and in many situations, we understand what healthy sex is, and what inappropriate sex is. Many times, victims who have not revealed their abuse have no idea why they are behaving in a certain dysfunctional way, why they are depressed, or why they have the feelings they have. It is close to impossible to connect the dots in terms of one's behavior, and one's experience of having been assaulted or harassed.

If a perpetrator touched you without your consent, you were assaulted. If a perpetrator was someone whom you trusted and made you believe that it was normal for this behavior to occur, you were assaulted. If the perpetrator made you feel complicit in YOUR abuse, you were assaulted. It is not your fault. You played no role in your assault, except that you were an innocent victim who was in a vulnerable position that the perpetrator took advantage of. Guess what? Being a human being and being vulnerable is normal. A perpetrator who touches you without your consent rapes you or speaks inappropriately to you with unwelcomed sexual talk is not normal. 

The good news is, it is never too late to deal with what happened to you, and to begin the process toward finding peace WITHIN YOURSELF. You may never have forgiveness; you may never be totally on a path of comfort and happiness daily. This is a lifelong process. However, you can find that spot of validation that many victims and survivors have an extremely hard time finding due to the societal internal homicide that happens to our dreams, our beliefs, our connection to a world that we believed cared, and to ourselves as children. In other words, you can TOTALLY be happy. 

There are many places you can go for help. If you are searching for a therapist, make sure to find one who is either a specialist in providing services to patients who have been sexually abused as children or is someone who has experienced sexual assault as a child themselves. There is a uniqueness in dealing with someone who has been through what we've been through because we walk in the door as someone who once was, someone who NEVER was, someone whose life stopped at the moment of abuse, and someone who cannot make the connection between current behaviors and what happened. Many times, we have to go back and find that child that was lost, and make them feel that everything is going to be okay. That takes hard work and someone qualified to work through that with you. 

Please feel free to visit some of the pages below to gain more understanding about what this is, what it means to your life, and how you can find that place of worthiness that you have been in search of and that YOU DESERVE. 

As always, if you are in a dire situation where you feel suicidal or you want to hurt yourself, CALL 911 and the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, which is open 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255. 

Stop It Now
RAINN
American Society for the Positive Care of Children
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network
The Aurora Healthcare Healing Center - Milwaukee
Equal Rights Advocates - How to Deal with Sexual Harassment 
Callisto - For Survivors of Assault, Rape, Coercion and Harassment
Bicycle Health - Blog About Sexual Abuse and Assault

If you are having a hard time making sense of what happened to you, you will find a multitude of resources that will help you on your journey toward peace. You are deserving, you are worthy, and more than anything, on this website and beyond, you ARE BELIEVED.