I have come to a complete understanding of why life can be so difficult to navigate. I now understand that at a certain age, usually when we are younger, we don't necessarily have enough experience to make decisions that are the right ones for us. Perhaps we didn't have direction, or the wherewithal to find our way, but I truly narrow that down to ignorance. I do believe that we are all at certain points where our age impacts whether things go where they are supposed to go.
For me, I realize that my "stupid" phase was from about the age of 19 to 28. After 28, I blame the bad decisions on what I now call UD - Universe Denial. I knew where to go. I had enough experience to tell me that certain decisions were going to create bad results. I knew at that point that making difficult decisions didn't mean I was making a wrong decision. I knew at that point that taking the easy route just for the sake of not having to do any work usually ended up not working out very well.
I believe that people fight the Universe all the time. When someone knows that they have a health issue but won't see a doctor because they are afraid of knowing the truth, when in actual fact knowing that truth can add years to a person's life or create a situation where you decide to love a fuller life - UD. When there is a choice that stands in front of someone on whether cheating on your boyfriend, or girlfriend, or spouse is something one should do, even if your committed relationship is falling apart - knowing that taking the easy route of cheating is wrong but doing it anyway - UD. Having an opportunity in front of you and being afraid to grasp it because you are too afraid of what you'll lose, and cannot focus on what you have to gain for a myriad of unresolved reasons - UD. When your child tells you something about themselves that you don't want to hear, and you find every reason to act as if it doesn't exist and you ignore the issue altogether, hoping it will go away - UD. We spend most days not wanting to do any work on ourselves and not researching our own behavior because it's just too difficult. It's easier to just travel to where it feels the best and requires the least amount of work. Yes…this is what we call the path of least resistance.
But I challenge you to think about this differently. The Universe leads us down paths that we don't necessarily want to take. Those paths can be quite lonely and hard to travel on. When I knew I had to quit drinking and smoking, that was a very difficult road to choose. I had to give up singing, I had to give up all that I knew up until that point that involved drinking, including people who I thought at that time were friends. That part felt really weird, but I trusted that that difficult path was necessary to get me to be and keep me sober. That was almost 18 years ago.
Some years ago, I made a horrible mistake. I had every opportunity to blame every single awful thing that happened to me on why I made that mistake. But the Universe told me "It is time for you to take responsibility Rhonda. The only way that you and others will heal from this is by taking that path." Many people told me to take another road. Many tried to tell me why I did what I did, but I listened and took responsibility for MY actions. That was what spearheaded my path toward healing in so many ways.
The right path is not necessarily the easiest. It is full of self-reflection that requires a lot of connecting to the truth. Some truths are hard to take about who you are as a person. Some truths you must accept as lifelong, and you must find a way to manage those. Some truths require change and understanding about how those things impact others negatively. But most truths.... most truths involve knowing how wonderful you are. They involve connecting to a person you never really got to know. They involve honest action because when you trust the path and accept the truth, that is where real honest action happens. If I have a cut on my arm but ignore it and act as if it doesn't exist, the cut gets worse. But if I deal with what it is and where it is, I can heal that cut, rather than try and do other things to make it go away. When we deal with what is going on with us, paths we're supposed to take, and NOT supposed to take...this is the most unselfish thing a person can do. You become better for everyone around you when you are in tune to what the Universe is telling you.
I, over the past few months, have had so many things that have appeared that have challenged everything that I once was too young to understand. There are paths I want to take but shouldn't. There are paths that I don't want to take but should. I have been completely in tune to the truth that is involved in all of this - and that truth narrows down to me. Who am I. Why am I. What am I. And for the first time ever, in all of that, I am trusting the Universe.
...Because it's got me. It's always had me. This time, I'm not veering and I'm not becoming distracted. I am going to pay close attention to this path. I am going to keep the door open for those who want to walk with me, and not look back to grab people who don't want to walk with me. I will happily divert my direction to see someone else's Universe path, but I won't travel on paths that don't belong to me and, under no circumstance, no matter whose path I’m on, will I look back.
I will trust and keep moving, no matter how slow or fast that path may be. As my saying goes, I would rather move forward at a snail's pace, than backward at any pace.
Keys are starting the car. Who needs a ride?
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