I watched ”It’s a Wonderful Life” for the first time when I was 11 years old. I was in the throngs of depression that I didn’t know I had and a lot of dysfunction in my life that was equally confusing. It was right around Christmas 1980, when NBC used to show this movie only one time, so your chance to watch it was at that moment.
I had to go to my neighbors house the night it was on, as my dad hadn’t returned home from work. It was snowing outside and I remember seeing the beautiful Christmas lights decorated outside of everyone‘s home. My neighbors’ house was so pretty. As I watched the movie, I had a hard time understanding some of it, but for the most part, I knew what the message was about; you have more than you think. A lot more.
As my life continued, I made it a point to watch this movie over and over again during the holidays. I even made some of my friends watch it with me. I laughed at the same parts, and cried at the same parts, and felt sad and happy consistently at the moments I remembered being sad and happy as a kid.
Certain moments became much more poignant; the part where George realizes that he’s never been born, and that he has no family and cries out to Clarence “I want to live again. I want to live again!” That part makes me sob. Mary and George both throw a rock into the 320 Sycamore home, known as the Old Granville House, on the night of the high school dance. She makes a wish, but she doesn’t reveal it to George. George reveals all of his wishes to Mary; wishes that include wanting to live the high life, build sky scrapers and move out of Bedford Falls which never happens.
There is one particular scene that gets me every single time.
George and Mary finally get married. They are in the back seat of the car with the cab driver Ernie talking about their honeymoon and where they wanted to go in New York City. George reveals a $2,000 stack of bills that they’ve been saving for this very moment.
As they get closer to the train station, they notice commotion near the Bailey Building and Loan, and realize that there is a run on the bank. George and Mary go inside and are met by the staff. They tend to the customers needs, and then realize that the only money they have to give to their customers, from their bank accounts, is the money they‘ve saved for the honeymoon. As the business closes at 6pm, the building and loan team is ecstatic that they posses $1 left from the honeymoon money, which means that they are officially not out of business.
George receives a phone call from Mrs. Bailey, his new wife who left in the middle of the craziness, asking for him to come “home“ to 320 Sycamore. He is unaware that Mary has purchased the Old Granville House. Ernie, the cab driver, acts as a door man at the home, and Bert, the cop, waits to let Ernie know when George arrives. It is raining like crazy, which is evident by the frequent leaks that George sees as he enters the home.
It is pretty decrepit inside. There are spider webs everywhere, peeling paint and wallpaper, broken windows and many more repairs that have to be done.
Mary has some Hawaiian songs playing on a turntable that is being operated by a turkey that is spinning on an open fire in the living room. As he looks to the windows, he sees that Mary hung up posters of all of the places that George told her he wanted to visit when he revealed his wish to her in high school. The posters cover the windows to give the illusion that those places are where he is at that very moment. He turns and smiles and looks at Mary, as she says quietly, “Welcome Home George.”
Bert and Ernie then stand outside one of the window as the Hawaiian record stops playing, and they harmonize “I Love You Truly“. George looks into Mary’s eyes with complete adoration and appreciation and he hugs and kisses her as that beautiful song is so beautifully presented.
As the song continues, Mary says to George “Remember the night we threw those rocks into this old house? THIS is what I wished for“. George begins to cry, holds her tighter, and then the song ends.
All of us right now are experiencing some serious George Bailey moments where we don’t know what to do next. The moment that George enters the bar after begging for money from the one person who he never wanted to have to go to for help, Mr. Potter, he begs God for help as he sobs, feeling completely defeated. Some of us are trying to make money stretch as long as we can so that we can purchase essentials like food and medical supplies. Some of us are still waiting for unemployment. Some of us are frantically looking for a job, and are finding that it is very difficult, considering that so many places are closing. Some of us have pre-existing conditions and we don’t know how we’re going to afford our prescriptions or doctor appointments. Some of us are afraid of sending our kids to school, of going to work, of even hugging our loved ones for fear we may get them ill, or become ill ourselves. Some of us, unfortunately, are dealing with being infected with his terrible virus, or we’re taking care of someone we love who is sick.
But what is so amazing about that particular scene - in that broken down house, that takes place right after they just gave their $2,000 honeymoon money away so that their customers could make ends meet; as they are surrounded by broken windows, peeling wallpaper and cracked paint and a myriad of expensive repairs, Mary turns to her new husband and says “The night we threw those rocks into this old house, THIS is what I wished for.” The house is who we are right now. What’s inside of that house is what Mary wished for; what we all should wish for. Nothing outside of the love that she wanted could be seen because her priority was to give and receive love. All other things could be accomplished, only if love exits.
More than their fear, and position in life that they could have focused on, I feel their love. I feel what is the most important thing in that room.
Love.
I am with all of you right now - I struggle with many fears about this pandemic, about my type 1 diabetes, about my son, my parents - about my friends and other family. I have some anxiety about the future.
Being present in today has taught me something very important, even as I take a look back.
The one constant that has gotten me through the toughest of times in my life is love. Love.
If I had a song that got me through, it got me through with love.
If I had a job that got me through, it was filled with love.
If I had a friend, a family member, even what I do for myself, it was love.
Even if alone and scared, I had love.
And, as I look around my humble home that my husband has owned for more than 20 years; As I think about how he used to feel about not having as much as others; not achieving those things that he wished he had achieved because he gave so much for others; As I remember how he wondered if we would be okay as a couple because neither of us had much to give the other monetarily....
What is evident is we have love. That is what has gotten us through. In my youth, in high school, with my deepest wishes for my future life, LOVE Is what I wanted most. I am rich and abundant in it.
With this, I have everything. With this, WE will be okay.
Thank you George Bailey:)
Comments